Dear thecarelessowl:

The way I think about feelings: what you feel about other people’s accomplishments and whatever you feel at any time- it is okay to feel what you feel. None of your feelings make you a bad person, or less worthy person than others. Our feelings are automatic mental events in our brains, we don’t choose them and so, they are not evidence of our innocent or guilt or worth. Behind every emotion we feel there is a valid message that needs to be listened to.

You wrote: “I try to be grateful for what I have, but it feels fake. Like I’m not truly grateful and lying to myself. I try to be happy for others in those instances and that feels fake too.”-

Better not TRY to feel any different than you do. Better find that valid message in what you do feel. Here is an example of a possible valid message in such feelings: as a child, a parent compared you- unfavorably- to a sibling, finding you lacking, showing the sibling approval and affection. You were very hurt. Now, this is only an example. What do you think the valid message might be in your case?

anita