I read all of the post above. I respectfully disagree with some of the insinuations made above. I don’t think she is the abuser in this case, she definitely is tormented by your past behaviour, continued repetition of it over time, repeated apologies without any change in your behaviour, and so on and so forth ..the cycle continues. I don’t blame her for feeling helpless, of course her way of dealing with this is extremely unhealthy for both of you. She wants to keep you around thinking you will fix her broken self and she has no where to go without you. This is classic case of Stockholm syndrome. There are countless resources on this if you would like to look it up. She feels some sort of emotional bonding with you, its a strategy for her survival, little does she understands that there is no healing in this for both you or her. She has reached her full capacity and I can see how it can be very exhausting to deal with her anymore. Honestly you cannot her help her. If she feels the other way around she is fooling herself. You need to let her go so she can figure out why she thinks she could only find solace in your presence. This relationship is toxic for both of you. She has developed an unhealthy pattern of asking for your time ( 6 hours a day ) is a lot, ain’t nobody got that time sorry.

I also sense subtle and repeated gas lighting. We can agree she has developed an eccentric behaviour over time and she is feeling weak and not in control of her emotions. I can see why see feels she has no where to go and you owe it to her to stick around. She is not aware of the strength she has within and she will not see this until you step out. Right now you are her crutch but she also forgets you were a cause of a lot of distress in her life ( at least initially ) and she is doing disservice to both of you by forcing you to stick around. Maybe you can support her from a distance. Let her know she can reach out if she absolutely needs to. You started this message looking for advice how to fix your patterns but slowly and subtly it turned into all the faults she has. Bottom line, if you really want to change yourself, just let her go and make honest attempts to change your actions not just the intentions so this does not repeat for the next person in future. Good Luck !