Sorry for the incomplete details…. I would like to clarify that I have very deep and intense emotional needs. It makes me feel like I am very needy. I usually do not show my true emotions to others, I always keep smiling to others and act like nothing has happened. But deep inside my heart I am bleeding, sad, angry, disappointed, etc. Many of my friends have very calm and balance emotions, so I dare not express my true emotions to them. Because once I express my true emotions, it is overwhelming not only to myself, but also my people surrounding me. They might start to think that I am an over-reactive, emotional and immature person. I look calm from the outside but deep inside my heart there is always emotional drama going on. It is unpredictable not only to myself but also to others. Nobody could understand who I really am due to the complexity of my emotions. So, it has nothing to do with my homosexuality.