Dear Anita,

Thank you for your words. I think you are right, life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and I cannot expect to constantly smile and laugh through it all. He has his own stress to deal with and I understand I can be a lot to deal with also. When I think about the relationship I have with my parents and close friends, I remember that I have off days or times with them also and it doesn’t mean that we love each other any less. I think what triggers fear in my mind is that stereotypically, couples are supposed to be all loved up. In my mind, we are ‘supposed’ to be in our honeymoon stage where everything is all perfect and we are so in love.
I make the mistake of comparing our love to others’ and I think what I need to really do is take a step back and ask myself if his quietness bothers me because I need more than that or it bothers me because it doesn’t meet the standard of a ‘good relationship’ that I have imagined in my mind. Before him I only had one boyfriend, however I didn’t love that person for who he was, I was young and in love with the idea of love. This relationship is much different and deeper, I love him for who he is and I guess it is the first healthy relationship in my life. I am still figuring out how relationships work myself and it might take us a while to figure out but maybe at the end of it all our bond will be stronger than ever.