Thank you Anita, youre right, all I can do is all I can do and I make the most of the time I spend with my son. When he is with me its just about us and enjoying our time together.
Thank you for the different perspective.
I have been given a lot of good advice on this journey but I never looked at it the way you said it.
To be careful who I give all my love to. Thats a big lesson for me. A huge lesson. I just thought once im in it were working it out til death do us part but you cant solely depend on others for happiness. I depended on her for that and thats where I went wrong. With her I didnt have much of a backbone, I was passive a lot and allowed her to make me believe it was always me who did something wrong. That there was something wrong with me but I no longer see it that way.
I was willing to have her back but the truth is I would not trust her. In reality I didnt fully trust her before it happened because of similar behavior she showed in the past with other people. But I forgave her and thought it could work.
I got used to the kind of “love” I had with her because I never knew any other kind. She was my first relationship. We were so young when we met and jumped into things quick.
I have learned so much though. As painful as it has been and can still be, I know more now of what I want from a relationship and to not make my world revolve around anyone completely. But to find someone who can compliment me and for me to do the same for them. But not in a way where we are.holding onto eachother to survive.
I do say love you all in a pure sense of just sending my good intentions out to anyone who wants to receive it. But youre right. I cant just give my love to anyone and the next time I do fall in love it will be different.
That person will cherish me for everything I am and everything I am not. They are out there somewhere.
Im just going to live and pursue my passions and live with good intentions. Thank you for your helpful words.