To Anita

I have done my research on ”Histrionic Personality disorder” since you have told me that you believe that i fit this type of personality disorder. There are a few traits that fit my personality i wont lie to you, but very few and i believe when any woman or man who feels so strongly about something and shows so much emotion to a person who is void of any emotions would react the same way i did and do.. this is how i see it. I have never ever heard of this personality disorder and i wasn’t trying to label him so as to demoralize him or make him feel bad or damn even make an excuse for him which is what i often find myself doing. I got into a state of panic/worry that maybe this is what he does actually have and that when i did as much research i could do about sociopaths they all say to get out of the relationship. The reason being why i asked can someone remain happy with a socipath is because if this is truly his reason for being the way he is then maybe there truly is no hope.

The core issue is, that i wasnt happy. Yes that is the core issue, he didnt make me happy in regards to the way he behaved and treated me. I know what the core issue is, i know this isnt what a relationship should be like and we like any other couple had our ups and have had our downs too…unfortunately the latter one.

I am currently seeking psychological help and she is helping me through cognitive therapy and i am getting stronger but this very strong urge to help and to love people is what is not letting me let go of him. I know i am not helping me or him in the long run because if i go running back, it means i will be starting the vicious cycle again and he will start to feel comfortable and maybe stop getting the help he needs because everything is back to normal again.

My question is..how do i go about this. Do i let go and let him help himself and then maybe once he is better he can come back and try again? Or shall i let go before i completely destroy myself in the process which is what i already have done i dont think i can hit lower than what i am now.

What scares me i think, is the fact he moved on very fast after his ex wife of 10 years..but then again i dont know too much about their relationship as he doesnt say much about it.. it scares me to think i cut contact and he will be off with someone and falling in love with her.. and yes i know that is just proof enough of how much he regarded our relationship ..

i am just at a loss and i am very confused and i feel like i am stuck in limbo..not knowing where home truly is.