It’s very tough to be going through this. I’m sure in some ways it feels like you lost a best friend or at least a close one. I suggest no contact. And when you’re ready delete all old texts from him that you may have been revisiting. Remember to look at how far you’ve gotten instead of how far you have left to go. I don’t believe in once a cheater always a cheater, but this is a man you’d forgiven. Which is very difficult to do, and that trust bond has been broken. Don’t think there is any coming back from that.