Dear Hailee

I wish I could have told you half the stories I thought in my head when bf and I had low communication spells. I can have a good laugh now about how silly I must have appeared when I inevitably had melt-downs over imagined situations. I would be too fatigued by all the thinking of what was going wrong to feel like focusing on other things.

The root problem wasn’t him actually. It was my own perception of the situation and the relationship. I realised my own trust issues and the core belief I had of being sorta unlovabale and the dislike to appear needy.

It didn’t have anything to do with home though. A lot of it was related to the poor peer group I had in my teens who were plain malicious and emotionally abusive. I didn’t see it until many years later as to how much of the negativity I had internalised from them. I also suffered from a tendency towards clinical depression, partly genetic.

So awareness of what, why and how is important.

What are the thought?
Why are they there? (Identify the core belief)
How can I feel better?

All this is part of something called emotional intelligence which requires you to be aware of your feelings, find ways to work with them.

Do look it up sometime and learn a few techniques on how to develop it.

I hope you feel better and please know that we all feel this in a long distance but the part where you need to do something is when your work is getting badly affected.

Regards
Nina