Dear Alexandra:

In the post before last, you asked: “i dont even know why the hell i want to go back ???? why god why ??”

In a post earlier you wrote about him: “I know he is scared of abandonment ( which is something i did by leaving him)”- I think you feel a lot of empathy for him, believing he is feeling as badly as you felt at 14 when your mother abandoned you. I think that you don’t want to do to him what your mother did to you.

If I am correct, the problem with this projection (of your experience into him), is that it is probably not an accurate projection. His feelings about you leaving him are not the same as yours when you were 14. He is an adult with a different life experience. Some things in his history are similar to yours as all humans share so many commonalities, but it is not the same.

What do you think?

anita