Dear seek:

Learning from your previous threads, you are promoting some ideas, as well as your personal blog. When given input, you did not respond. Yet, here it is again (if you don’t consider it, maybe someone else reading it, will consider it):

You described a dynamic you have with a male family member living with you. You refer to this family member as a “loved one”- and yet, his behavior toward you is repeatedly aggressive and abusive. I suggest that the term LOVE should not be applied to that individual, as his behavior is not loving.

Then you described him about to beat you up, and that you responded by telling him that you “would never ever raise my hands at you and yet here you are raged and ready to strike. I said love yourself before you strike as I’m telling you this for your own good.” – if your goal is to protect yourself from aggression, you have to eliminate the source of aggression in your life. Since it is your home, as I understand it, you can evict this aggressive man.

But you chose to do something else, tell him you will never protect yourself “(“I would never ever raise my hands at you”). You have let him know that SELF DEFENSE is not something you will be doing with him.

His response: “Those words I realized cracked him inside stopping the rage instantly. Guilt and nothing but guilt appeared. Because instead of violence I came with love. Cause this is what was needed for them. Nothing but love.”- you may have misunderstood. Maybe what he realized was that if he does beat you up, he may kill you (because you will not defend yourself), and if he does he will not only lose a place to live, but find a different place to live- prison.

Your conclusion, the idea you are promoting: “Love will strike the hearts of those who are filled with anger, as they are vulnerable enough to feel loved. Let love be the surprise to others for it will follow.
I hope this helps anyone overcome conflict by giving nothing but love in return.”- depending on the context, the circumstances. In your case, he didn’t beat you up THIS time. But he still lives with you, sharing the same residence. Next time- what happens next time when he is a bit angrier?

Remove the aggressor in your life. When attacked, defend yourself. Your conclusion that responding passively with love is the answer to aggression is incorrect: Young children everywhere are loving of their parents, and passive in face of the parents’ aggression, and yet, often enough, parents respond with aggression and abuse.

anita