Dear Charity:

Feeling unworthy of love, a common feeling, common core-belief people have. It is formed in childhood and lasts a lifetime unless healing is being done.

Thing is, he can’t heal you. Likely, you will keep looking for “evidence” in his behavior that he does NOT love you. And there will always be such “evidence” as people cannot read minds, so there is no way for him to say what you think he should say anytime, do what you think he should do (without telling him), etc. And the reasonable things he “should” know to say and do (or not to say and do)- no one can pay 100% attention all the time to… what they should say and do.

Healing- best in competent psychotherapy. In the relationship with him, be open and honest about your fears and take responsibility for those. Don’t blame him for “making you” insecure and fearful. Practice self discipline so to not blame him and burden him unfairly for what he is not responsible to.

Better he doesn’t move in until you start and establish such responsible, honest communication first.

anita