Dear bricklady:

Yes, asking him when you can see his children is likely to distress him. I would avoid brining up anything, at this point, that may distress him.

If an intimate/ living together relationship happens (and it very well may), reads to me, that you will always have to be careful about bringing up distressing issues to him. Not that it will be healthy for you to not bring up issues, walking on eggshells, but you will need to bring up important issues (those he can do something about) in such a way that it is the least distressing to him. Better have ground rules with him ahead of time, regarding bringing up issues, discuss and agree how to do it when issues come up.

anita