Hello again, Anita:

Thank you for your words, they do mean a great deal. He did in fact say, “I can see us getting Married.” I have been thinking all day about what you said, in terms of the time he was with her. That is practically his whole adult life, and keeping that in mind has helped me.

She was quite abusive, and he was very unhappy for a very long time. He now has an image of Marriage and Commitment as being nothing but hard work that “inevitably will end in flames.”

The whole situation is difficult as we care(d) for eachother very deeply. Having that connection, I can still feel what he is feeling, see what he is doing, and touch in on him energetically if I am not careful. I try to do this as little as possible, as it becomes an exercise in detaching and cutting bonds. Sometimes, particularly when I am overcome with grief, I can feel that it is actually him feeling this, and that is when it becomes a struggle.

I am learning how to let go and trust that he is OK, that above all of this he is held in peace and love. And that I am going to feel better soon, I need to feel better soon, and somehow still be able to Love him wholly, but release this attachment.

Thank You again for your feedback, and any other thoughts you may have are welcomed.