Dear mapnerd:

You wrote in your last few lines that you are “trying to understand… what exactly (you are) lacking so badly to feel such deep sorrow..”-

my answer: the safety you did not have as a child: the safety in knowing you have a mother and a father who are on your side, who are able and willing to take good care of you.  That current “deep sorrow” for yourself is the SAME sorrow you experienced then. That sorrow exists in the form of neuropathways in your brain that are triggered by current events, such as the ex having another girlfriend.

anita