Hi Anita,

I feel like it is going to take such a long time before that happens…i had to take a couple of days off work i was crying so much. Ive never had this kind of reaction before but it also hasnt meant so much. By this age i wanted to be together with someone…not cruising for the next partner! it seems to me that i just cant have that…i mean that people in general now want constant change and stimulus. I think he did and i had just come to my end in his eyes. It is unbearable for me. It definitely looks like i wont have children in any case..im too old now.

How can i keep waking up in exactly the same pain and anxiety, i have fought my feelings for me telling myself that if someone can hurt me like this they cant be good for me, but then i find myself stirring some tiny hope that it will all fall through and he’ll realise he was wrong. If i could just destroy the hope i wouldnt go there. He is not the kind to call….he probably wont.

Im still desperate, still upset…its going to be a while.. what do i do if i see them? he wants me to be happy for him, support him in his new relationship, she probably feels sympathy for me..after all, shes got him. She told him she had been badly hurt before and didnt want him to mess her around (like he already did by going on holiday without her) he talked about her like he had to protect her and look after her. He told her i had social anxiety and this was a problem, she has taken him out a few times and they have fun together. I feel like such a failure.