You’re right. I do need to work on that.  I am not there. I cannot be thinking like that. Easier said than done. I wish I could just turn off that part of my brain that makes me miss them.

I had a good visit with my therapist today. We talked about how to approach him about talking to the kids but a lot of how the mixed signal Brickman is sending. She suggested an over the counter aid in helping me to stabilize my mood and be able to sleep at night so I will look for that. I also have an appointment with my GP  next week to talk about my anxiety and depression per my therapists suggestion as well.

I hate that I am like this. I have never been this kind of person, to be sad and lonely and miserable, constantly, endlessly. It’s really hard to move past it.