Luckily my school offers free counseling from our psychology graduate students, and I have been attending for the past couple weeks.

I have issues with perfectionism. That I always have to be doing the right thing always, and if I don’t I constantly beat myself up about it.

Whenever times get tough I have a coping mechanism where I will break up with the person I am with, or leave the friend who has harmed me. Out of sight out of mind.

I have issues with not loving myself.

I think I started feeling this way when I was a lot younger or in high school. My parents were not affectionate at all growing up. My father was a very angry guy and would always yell. He would tell my sister and I that we were worthless at times. I remember I would just close up and tell myself not to react so that he doesn’t get more angry. I would constantly try to prove myself or please my parents so that maybe they would love me more. When I was in between the ages of 17-19 I was struggling really bad with my sexuality. I was burying myself in hooking up with men because I knew I liked women as well and that scared me. I dated a girl a summer after my freshman year of college who treated me terribly and made me hate myself for being bisexual.