Hi Wendy,

I don’t care if the abuser is depressed or is abusive out of habit and just happens to be depressed. It doesn’t matter. This bears repeating: It doesn’t matter!

He (she?) doesn’t abuse random people on the street, does he? Of course not! They know when to turn it on or off. They are choosing to show their dark side to you!

Dear, you have to teach people how to treat you. Unless this is a dependent child or an infirm parent, whenever you are dealt with a ration of abuse, LEAVE. Return after a goodly amount of time with no contact/communication. If abused again, leave for longer. (Days, weeks, if not months or years). I’ve done this. What happens is they rather quickly learn to behave better (or throw a tantrum and end the whole relationship).

Good Luck!

Inky