Hi yogagrl, I’m not clear if you’re asking this question about men in general, as the title of your thread suggests, or if you’re mostly concerned about your specific situation. If you’re asking about men, they have the same feelings as women, though it’s very individual and men and women tend to be brought up differently.

As for your situation, I hear a lot of longing in your voice. I think you’ll more easily let go of this guy when you meet someone who you come to love as much or even more than him,  whether that’s tomorrow or a year from now. Meanwhile, please keep in mind that this guy who you miss so much, had the ability to spend three intimate years with you culminating in a great birthday weekend, then end it with you in a phone call. I kinda doubt that this idea of splitting with you occurred to him for the first time between your birthday and the phone call. Would you really want someone back who keeps that kind of secret from you?