Thank you for your reply.

How can you think you know someone for 30 years? And then they do something like this to you. I thought I knew my former best friend, L., inside out.  We had shared some good times together over the years, and supported each other through the bad times… And yet, when it came down to it, she betrayed me, after all those years of friendship. Ekhart Tolle would call this an ‘unthinking moment’ for her… but it was planned, and the signs were there that something was going on, but I ignored this, as I trusted her.

You’re right, neither of them were good choices of friend/boyfriend. I trusted them both.

I have tried to rise above this incident and have succeeded somewhat. I just wish I could leave it alone in my thoughts. It’s been eight months now since it happened. To some extent, I have done just that. I have stopped obsessing about them all the time. It’s history now, after all. Nothing can be done about it and time has moved on.

But I still obsess over what I would say to them if we ever came face to face. It’s likely that we will, at some point in the future, as we all moved in similar circles. These thoughts are a different story every time. I cannot seem to gain any control over these thoughts, but I wish they would stop. It’s so wearing to keep on thinking about them, and such a waste of my energy. It’s dragging me down and I just want it to stop! And you can’t control the future anyway, so what purpose do these thoughts serve?

Maybe its a grieving process, do you think? Is it possible that this is the last stage of this before it goes away for good? Time is healing this, but it’s so slow.