Hi Niki,

I read your story and I am so sorry you are going tbeough this. I am going through something very similar. I hope you find the answers you are searching for and healing. I know you probably know what the best thing to do is because you feel it inside but you are still in love with him and it hurts like nothing else. You feel like someone stabbed you in the heart, the person who you believed in hurt you so bad. You feel betrayed, hurt, worthless and think that you are the one to blame. We have to get through this and have hope that one day we will not feel this agony and excruciating pain. I know how it feels, I really wanna post my story because I really need advice as well. They are currently not taking submissions so I will paste it here please someone tell me/share with me some advice.

PLEASE READ MY STORY <3

I was dating my ex fiance when he got stationed out of state for a job. We continued a long distance relationship because I was not ready to move right away.

We decided that we loved each other and wanted were serious about each other and I moved out there with him because it was easier for me to move. I left my job, school family and friends. We had arguments here and there like any couple but most of them were because his parents were intruding into our relationship and wanted to control his life and random petty arguments once in a blue moon.

We got engaged after 2 years (lived together for 3, so 5 total) and his parents (his mom) changed completely but never said she did not want us together. His parents never mentioned anything about the wedding (plans) and never even brought it up. I was afraid to talk to them about my ideas because of their actions. I talked to me ex F about it instead.

He is very close to his family and uses their judgment/advice when he makes decisions. i did not think that he was under so much control until this occured.

My ex fiance and I agred on a wedding, date and location. He checked with his parents and I checked with mine. They were all okay with the date and location. His parents visited us for Xmas and I gave them invitations to invite their friends (their reaponse was we don’t have anyone to invite). They left and never even took the invitations with them. 3 months before the wedding his parents called him and told him they felt insulted by my parents at a party and that they werent coming to the wedding.

Before he advised me of his parents statement he said “we got a big problem”.

His parents and my parents are friends (18 yrs) btw and were friends before him and I started dating. They shouldve went to my parents and talked about any issues they had (them made stuff up) but instead they came to him and told him they were not going to the wedding because of it.

My ex fiance came to me and asked me to ask my parents what happened and to ask them to call his parents to work it out. I did, my parents called his parents, but they did not answer their phone, my parents left a voicemail. They never called them back.

My ex fiance and I started arguing, it caused tension and arguments between us. (I truly believe they wanted this) They brainwashed him/manipulated and put into his head all of these negative thoughts about me and my family.

He started to believe them and that they wanted the best for him and told me that if his parents don’t come to the wedding that he cant come either. I paid the deposit and for my dress and etc btw. Also all invitations were sent.

We tried to find a solution but I did nit know what else to do, I felt like his parents were critizing me and my family and placing their views and ideas inside his brain. He started to see me as this evil person because I told him “can’t you see they are trying to tear us apart”. I asked him what I can do but we had nothing because his parents were the only ones who could change anything but refused to call my parents back.

I was fed up of crying and thinking that our wedding will be canceled because of his parents and that he actually would allow that. He couldn’t put his foot down, the more frustrating thing was that he was blind and unaware of what his parents were doing.

I felt like he should have stood up to them and told them that we wanted them at the wedding but the choice is theirs and their reasoning was not enough for a dramatic scene like this. He started taking their side, I started losing patience and was arguing with him. I gave him an ultimatum, if he cancels the wedding because of this we are done.

Postponing it did not mean anything, his parents wanted to break us up and if they did not come to that wedding was I sopposed to sit and wait for them to decide when they will stop being mad?

He came back the next day from work and said we werent meant to be together and did not want to try to work on things at all.

He did not blame his reasoning on his parents but he blamed it on me. He told me my attitude and actions/over reactions in all our arguments were the reason and that we cant communicate. He also said his gut feeling was telling him something but he still loved me. I had an anxiety attack, I did not expect this from a guy that was kind to me that loved me and all of a sudden was having a gut feeling. I poured my heart out to him telling him that I loved him unconditionally and he said he would think about it. He came back the following day with the same solution, that we weren’t meant to be. I believe he spoke to his prents again and they decided for him.

He also asked for his ring and a expensive watch he gave me and asked me what I was taking from our home.

He had a hard time saying all this, his words were trembling and his eyes were bloodsbot. He said he loved me with his heart but his gut feeling was telling him we werent compatible. & he basically said he wrote down all of my good qualities vs bad ones on a piece of paper and thought about it.

I was in the process of moving out and had broken down a few more times and asked him was he sure, because I couldnt believe it. He said he was sure and that his parents had nothing to do with the decision he made. 2 weeks passed and he said I confirmed any doubts he had by my actions (I had to leave for 2 weeks because of the pain I was going through) he also said his feelings changed for me and that he wasn’t in love with me.

I can’t believe that because this guy was picking a wedding cake with me 3 days before his parents said they weren’t coming to the wedding. He was happy and excited and even ordered some wedding bands that we could wear when doing sports activities. He was drawing sketches of what he thought we ahould do for our favors.

I will never understand his actions and how can you hurt a person you loved for five years and tell them you dont love them 3 months before your wedding. It will never make sense, because everything was ok before his parents stirred the pot.

What i just wrote does not sound like the man I knew for 6 years. Never before has he said anything so hurtful to me.

Its been two months I moved most of my stuff out but I cant seem to understand what happened to my relationship, I am hurting.

Please give me your opinions/advice.

Thank you so much, <3.

Sent from my iPhone