Hi Anita (and thank you to others who have sent their good vibes 🙂

I have had another couple of tough days…i have tried not to believe i am cursed. I am having a difficult time at work which has been escalating, i learned i need an operation (although it is minor, not life threatening), i got two huge electricity bills out of nowhere and am seemingly being paid less for my job so i just cant afford to live without help…i was in tears today and yesterday, its a mess.

the panic has not gone away, the thoughts of him and her have not either and i keep trying to think of things to do to pass time. I am taking various lessons…but plans i make are struggling to work out for various reasons and i feel strangled.

Moving away is something i thought of doing right before i met my ex..so he changed my mind. Now, i just feel tired and old. I have moved a few times in my life and it is very hard but mostly because i dont particularly have a career. but it is something i have to consider since my current job is getting worse…

ive had cognitive therapy before but it just didnt do much for me. I am trying to use exercise as a way to just tire myself out which should also make me look better too. confidence is what i have always missed in my life..when times are good i also dont have it, maybe its a missing gene! But now i just feel really unsure about any decisions..the only consistency i feel that i have are failures.

when things keep getting worse…you need superhuman strength not to break, what do i do so that i dont panic about all these external things happening to me?