Apologies for taking such a long time to respond.

I cannot thank either of you enough for your words of wisdom and advice.

@pinchofattitude I was surprised at how much sharing my story has helped. It felt good to put my emotions and thoughts into words and have such kind and inspiring feedback. I am reminding myself daily that I do deserve happiness and that no matter what happens, I’ll be ok.

@anita The thought of sharing my fears with him made me very nervous. I know you are right. To have a healthy relationship, I need to be comfortable enough to share my fears and insecurities. So, I’m taking baby steps. I am sharing a small story when the time is right and I feel comfortable. I told him about my father and summed our on and off again relationship with him. He was very attentive and it was easier than I’d expected. I did not get deep into my feelings, just a brief introduction. I also do not want him to be the fixer. So, when I open up more emotionally I will explain that these are things I’m working on and am only asking for understanding. Going this path is a big deal and is taking a lot of introspection. As I said before, I have not let myself be at this much of a risk for getting hurt in the past. And I am still worried that I will trigger that one thing he cannot deal with.

On another note, he is starting to open up more with me and I am sensing that my strong fear of rejection with him might not just come from my past. He is in his 40’s and his past relationships have not lasted more than 4 years. We covered this before but, I didn’t let it sink in. Not until this past weekend. He brought out piles of old photos to share with me and it revealed a string of old girlfriends. My sense is that he might be the guy that likes the newness of relationships but, when things get real…he bails. I’d like to hear your thoughts. Red flag? Or more of my fears looking for something wrong? I thought about asking as he was showing the photos but, I could’t find words that did sound like an interrogation.

Once again, thank you both for taking the time to give advice and encouragement!