Dear Anita:

Thank you for taking your time to reply. I’ve never encountered this type of fear in my childhood. But I had a tough time growing up. Parents constantly fighting, bullied in school and by my cousins. And because of this, my self esteem and confidence is low. I’ve done many mistakes in later years, both financially and socially. I’ve had this ambivalence when it comes to making the same mistakes and not really learning from them. Doing stuff without thinking it through. So really I know the cause of my behavior and how it affects relationships. It makes me not care so much about myself and causes self destructive behavior. Basically sometimes I just say or do things without even thinking of the consequences. Hopefully the pain and agony I’m in right know will make me grow up (I’m only 22) because for the first time in my life I feel like I really got a grip on myself.

But it’s unbearable. I’m miserably at home and at work. I’ve lost this girl who I think could’ve been the real deal and I’m starting to lose myself. I don’t know how to get up and keep going.