In fact, I always kept my hopes down so as to expect as less as possible from him. Now that I have so much experience with him, I can almost calculate or forsee his explosions of anger. Sometimes I even advise my mom on how to deal with him or how to communicate certain things.

My therapist uses “Cognitive-Behavioral therapy” with a special focus on how to manage negative feelings or thoughts. In our last meeting she pointed out that I have made a progress when ended things with the last girl because I realized it was not the correct case for me and I didnt want to experience for once more the same pattern as with THE first girl- as a reflection of my father’s behaviour. Still, despite my progress, I painfully doubt I could find a person that would instill trust and patience in me.

Somethimes I think I just want to find a person just for fun and develop zero feelings, but being eternally romantic I know I cant do this. Thank you for your analysis- it was so to the point and clear. I will ask my therapist to re-evaluate our process and focus more on this pattern you suggested. 🙂