Hello Emma,

it is indeed an awful situation.

He came back again after some days – I told him I need to stop this but he insisted and once again I said ok for a last meeting. I am stupid – simply said.. He was telling me all the nice things some months ago I would like to hear. As Anita had guessed; once I was telling him that you didn’t understand your mistakes, and I had to kill my dreams of us having family, living together etc., he came back begging to give a chance to us and have a family cause now he is ready for us etc. I was negative and cold and then he started being angry and yell at me that I want to find a new boyfriend and this is why I say all these – then I tried to calm him down mentioning that this has nothing to do with others but to us – and he started to cry and tell me all the great things he wants to do with me. I was so exhausted from the fight and asked him to stay away some days to let things calm down – but of course, he still goes on with sending me messages etc.

He also made me promise that I will stop talking with others (If I do) so that I can sit and think if there is a chance for us and in the meantime, he sends me messages of how awful he feels and how much he loves me. I didn’t promise as he has no right for this but guess what, he made me again feel guilty and sad and angry etc..

Well, although I am sad for him, a lot, I can’t stand this anymore. I know all this agony started by the fact he understood I was not his possession anymore and I was ready to find a new one. This is why he is so intense and he tries to cut my contact from the rest people – so that he takes back his ‘item’ (this is me sadly).

I am on a trip at the moment so I can not do a lot – but upon my return I will tell him to stop contact me and that I am not in love anymore and I will stop replying to his calls/messages etc. I tried to make him understand why I can not be back to this relationship and started to say all teh problems we had – and I made him believe he can still own me as I gave room for discussions. MY MISTAKE.

It is hard that I need to be the bad guy here – but some people simply need a reassurance all the time for your love to boost their ego- nothing else. I can’t believe him anymore as he had so much time to see things. Only when I ‘left’ this relationship -in my heart- he decided to come back. Now it is too late as I feel nothing anymore. He tried to hug me and kiss me and I simply didn’t want it anymore.

I was very sad and devastated at the beginning but now I see better that all these, are his strategies and he is simply trying to control me because he lost his ‘defacto game’. He thought I would wait forever and once he saw me being happy and not in need of him anymore, he came back demanding me back at first – begging then and all the combinations afterwards. Anita was right that all these were strategies – I see it clearly now. He does not respect my feeling or my requests of staying away.

What about your bf? He came back after you started feeling well? Is he also insisting on taking you back? Is he also crying and promises things?! How do you feel? I hope it gets better soon for you – and me.

I am angry with myself allowing al this drama again to my life 🙁

• This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Mepina.