Dear paligc:

I hope your pain will lessen and go away sooner than later.

You asked for “tips to focus on other things that might help?”- to help you focus on other things it will be helpful to delete him from Facebook and all other social media. Every time you see him there, you focus on him. To focus elsewhere, remove the reminders.

To focus on other things, it may also help to learn all you can from this four year relationship, so that you will be wiser. If you learn all you can, maybe you will be moving forward.

For the latter purpose, if you are willing, I ask:

You wrote: “Would I look immature if I deleted him?” I ask: why do you care if you looked immature/ if he thought you were immature?

You wrote: “He didn’t even say thanks or anything. So I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings and gratitude for the years we spent together”- why did you express your feelings of gratitude for the four years following him breaking up with you? Was that the mature thing to do, in your thinking?

What is being “mature”, to you?

anita