In my twenties I got my GED and whent to an art school for a 1 year certificate. I majored in Interior Design as I was very interested in it. When I was a teenager I would watch this real estate show on TV that just showed houses in the area for sale with someone describing the home room by room. I would many times just watch and either say or think how unattractive the decorating was in these beautiful homes.

I have always dreamed of having my own home. A place I could decorate and feel secure in. I have never owned my own home. I have never felt completely secure in any of ny homes. My childhood home was often turbulent. My first apartment after I was practically shown the door of my childhood’s home by my uncle’s wife was interesting to say the least. It was very old with peeling wallpaper but it was all I could afford or thought I could afford. I was lost. My grandfather died about a year and a half before I left my childhood home and I lost the one man who wanted me around. I cried the first night in my new apartment.

I got a job and made new friends but like all my friendships my depression and anxiety ruins them. I had a few years with the people I knew here. My one friend tried to get me a boyfriend. I either didn’t connect with them or didn’t feel they were interested enough in me.

I went to clubs and bars with this crew as well as attending amazing Holiday parties.  One worker became my best friend although I am wholly sure I was hers. I watched as she and her husband started a family and get a new home. I was happy for her but some of her comments would annoy me. You can’t win with someone like her because they make the whole world love them. I am a bit tired right now. Hopefully I can be more coherent over the weekend.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.