Hi Anita,

I think what bothers me the most is that when we  were together, he didn’t behave in these awful ways that is now. For instance, he didn’t flirt/chat with other women, deleted tinder in front of me, all those sorts of things so I think part of me is stuck hoping that “good” version of him will come back and how he is now was just a phase and not the other way around.

I’m trying my best not to be in contact with him anymore (it’s been 5 days, it’s a start!) but I was still following him on social media. I’ve now deleted him, as he just posted a picture of himself which gave me such a pang of pain and a desire to text him, just to talk about anything, but I didn’t. Especially seeing all the new girls liking this picture and seeing all the pictures of girls he likes, when he doesn’t like any of mine anymore. I know these things should not bother me at all, in fact I find it silly that they do. He was never really active at all on social media when we were together, and now it seems like he’s revelling in all the female attention he’s getting now.

It all still feels so surreal, it feels like just yesterday he was looking me in the eyes lovingly saying he would never want another woman other than me. It really bothers me that he reassured me so many times that what he’s currently doing he would never do. I really believed him, as silly as that is.