Dear Emma,

only time will ease the pain I think. Try to concentrate on yourself and seek for family and friends help – company. That had helped me at the days of the break up 2 years ago – also the same happens these days. Talking to some friends, focus on your work and yourself to get distracted will help I think. It took me also much time to overcome him – at first it was all agony and jealousy and frustration, then it was self-esteem doubting and I was blaming myself, then it became slowly the past. One day I simply woke up and didn’t care anymore.

I was not caring why we broke up, I didn’t care if it was my fault or his, if he sees other girls, if he was my other half and lost one-time-only life chance to be together etc.. I simply started to live my life normally with focus on my needs – and it was really awesome feeling after so much time of pain and over thinking.

It takes time so I think you need to accept there is this difficult period – and simply understand it is a period, like having the flu: it comes, it breaks you down, but after some time you start recovering until you are healthy again.

What I have learned from all this time, is that some relationships learn us to love, and others (the toxic ones) learn us to love ourselves in the end. And this is the most valuable lesson.

Thankfully this forum, by writing down some thoughts, helps us keep our strength and our steps forward. With my ex crusade all over me these 2 months to ‘take me back’, I started to doubt again everything and started to be weak and blame myself and the pain started all over again. But I can not allow it. Not anymore. He still insists but I don’t care anymore. It hurts to see someone you love crying etc., but it hurts more seeing yourself again in that position. We owe happiness and respect to ourselves and I am sure that in another relationship we will be able to have everything we deserve and thanks to the past mistakes, we can make wiser choices.

Please write anytime – it helps a lot I think to express your feelings 🙂