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Reply To: Need Help Understanding Why

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#150059
Anonymous
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Dear X:

After reading your three posts on this thread, the key sentences, for me, are: “I tend to give too many details- I think I don’t ever know what might be important and what not, so I spill it all” and “I often do not see the forest for the trees.”

Your last line is: “Looking forward to what you might be able to see here!”

This is what I see: the reason you often do not see the forest (the whole picture) for the trees (the details); the reason you “don’t ever know what (details) might be important and what not”- is because there are some important details about your childhood that you closed your eyes to, not wanting to see them, not wanting to be aware of them. Seeing those details, as a child, was too distressing, so you closed your eyes to them.

It is not for lack of intelligence or formal education, that you still don’t see the important details so to make up the whole forest,  of course. it is for the understandable unwillingness to feel the distress.

You wrote: “What I hope to find out is a) what are the reasons for my more than weird choice of partners given that I grew up in a totally normal family with NO dysfunctional relationship”-

Before attending to the first part (the reasons…), I will ask you a question. Only following your answer, if it is positive, will I continue:

Are you willing to consider the possibility that there was significant dysfunction in your family relationships?

anita