Dear laelithia:

You started to BELIEVE that something wonderful was going to happen. Belief, or faith, are very powerful.

You are torturing yourself with thinking: if only you behaved differently, said or did something differently…

Most relationships don’t last a lifetime and many of those that do are no happy relationships at all. Add to these unfavorable statistics the short duration of this relationship and his pattern of relationships before and after you, as well as his statements, and the chance that this past relationship would have been loving, happy and lifetime is miniscule.

It was your willingness to travel and meet him at his place, hours away, made it possible for the relationship to last as long as it did.

You wrote: “Now I’m stuck with thinking what could have been, if I had been truer to myself in this last relationship?” – if you were truer to yourself, he would still be true to himself and he would have crashed the car, he would still be true to his pattern of experiencing intensity in a relationship, followed by nothing (“I don’t think I miss it. I liked it while we were together. But I think I was infatuated w your looks. That seems to have disappeared for me now”).

anita