Dear anita:

I brought this up because I didn’t know whether this may be the reason for my distancing from my parents. My mother would say that I started to distance from my parents myself. That is that I myself was the starting point. You suggested that this may be the consequence of how my parents behaved – that I felt that way and then found a perfectly valid reason to be “distant” – i.e. I am different, not like them.

But it sure felt like being an orphan made the success achieved later more valuable. It sure is one thing to do well in life when one’s parents have laid the foundation (education, maybe some starting capital, etc.) and another to do well when one had nothing in the beginning. Zero.

I wrote that this communication was helpful because you pointed out some bigger chunks of the picture, groves of trees, if you will. But again, I don’t know if my understanding is right. It is ALWAYS easier to see when one is not the party involved (and I am involved by default), that is why I thought I needed to be as objective as I possibly could, providing all the details I know.

Sometimes, I see in your posts to others how you dissect this or that phrase given by somebody (even by the author) and construct something based on what particular words were used.

I am sorry if I misread your last post (even though I read it several times), but even if I reread it now, I only see your recommendation is to unearth and process the emotions I felt in the past, not something related to the emotions I feel at present.

I have already become aware that I need to pay more attention to my emotions, not solely base my perception of somebody on his or her actions or words, but on the overall vibes that I get from them. And I try to implement it when dealing with people and situations.

I don’t normally spill everything to everybody. I did it only within the framework of this forum hoping to get some insights from people who are not in any way emotionally involved with me. Which I have.

Even if it is not the “objective truth” (which may not even exist), there is such a form of therapy as writing a diary. So even if this is it, it is helpful and beneficial, helps to process (I am only speaking for myself).

May I ask why you bypassed my other questions?

Thank you,

X