Hi, Anita and thanks so much for your kind words. Good thoughts about realistic and distorted. Here is how I felt when he told me she is coming: He is already distracted by trying to run his business remotely when he is here. When she comes, he is further distracted.  So I immediately felt like I wouldn’t get as much time or connection with him. When he comes I usually pick him up from the airport which gives us extra time together but when his daughter comes we lost that too. So I felt like I am not going to have as much of his time and attention.

It is my birthday (and his mom’s… 3 days apart when he will be here and I felt like maybe we wouldn’t get to do anything for my birthday. I told him that and he said we definitely would.  He even told me not to “project” and I told him that I wasn’t “projecting” but was basing my feelings on past experiences or “history”.

I think the bottom line is that he needs to get the divorce so he can bring me out in the open to his daughter. I just don’t like feeling left out.

Let’s start with this, Anita, if you would like.

Thank you.