Dear Bradley:

My advice: make sure you see her when her son is not present. You may have scared him and it is not good for him to see you again, not for a long time.

Control the expressions of your anger so that you don’t try to hurt her (or anyone) but purposefully saying things designed to create pain, like saying she deserved the abuse she experienced. Once you say things like that, you can not un-say them. You hurt her, but you also hurt yourself if your aim is to have a friendship (or more) with her.

Respect her assertions: if she doesn’t want to speak with you at any one time- don’t pressure her. If she doesn’t want to see you again, respect that.

Don’t make assumptions about what she feels or intends. Ask, don’t assume.

anita