Hi Karene…

Anita’s second question is paramount in considering your question of “how do I break up with someone who thinks that he has the rest of his life with me and that has nothing else in his life really but me and has schizophrenia.?” The two of you are complete opposites and at one end of that spectrum is his history. There is 100% truth in what Anita said-“unfortunately, you didn’t save him, you haven’t been his savior so far and you can’t be. It is not within your power. He is still as limited and dysfunctional as he has been before.” Karene I cannot say this in a gentle way, but because of his history, his schizophrenic diagnosis, especially him talking murder, this is a very dangerous situation you are in and it is paramount that you find a way to break up with him. You will have to take a strong, and I cannot emphasize that word enough, a strong initiative to do so. When he speak of “He thinks he has a future with me and is very loyal and devoted to me like I am his world. He loves coming over to my place as its 5 acres and animals around and a view. He talks about having kids with me casually every now and then and about when we get old etc..” how can you be sure whether or not he is not in a schizophrenic mode? Everything that you describe about his personality and behaviors speak manipulation, at the very least. You have a very healthy outlook on life and it seems as though you have a wonderful plan for you. This type of personality will drag you down in an instant and think nothing of it. I suggest a couple of things. Get educated on restraining orders. I sense that it will come to that. Next,I suggest that you email him that you feel your relationship will not work, that you are moving on, and wish him well. I do not suggest telling him in person for your safety. Schizophrenic personalities are very unpredictable. Do not allow him to take control of your decision. Should he go into a violent, abusive tirade, do not get into it. Just be clear that your decision to move on is what you want. At that point I would highly suggest a restraining order. This is nothing to mess with.

Please do let me know how you are doing.

Pearce