Dear Elsa:

I hope you heal and recover from your cancer and be well.

As I understand it, you had a 16 year relationship with a man (what do you mean by “personifier”?). Last October, eight months ago, when you found out you had cancer, he told you that he intends to leave you. The physical separation from him took place last March, three months ago, when he started his Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS)procedure for his Parkinson in another country, and you didn’t see him since March.

If I am correct in my understanding, this is devastating- not only did you found out you had a serious illness, but your partner of sixteen years decided to leave you at that particular time. This is unimaginable cruel on his part.

I read about Parkinson’s in Wikipedia. It reads there about “thinking and behavioral problems” that may occur in addition to the motor symptoms. It reads: “… symptoms include sensory, sleep, and emotional problems… Behavior and mood alterations… the most frequent mood difficulties are depression, apathy and anxiety.”

He had Parkinson’s for ten years, maybe apathy, as a side effect, lead to what seems like cruelty, suggesting to leave you at your time of great need.

I also read in Wikipedia that DBS can have side effects such as “apathy, hallucinations… cognitive dysfunction, depression and euphoria. Side effects that are potentially reversible. Also, the brain can shift slightly during surgery, the electrodes can become displaced or dislodged from the specific location, causing personality changes.

I understand he started his DBS after suggesting to leave you, so this is not relevant to the October exchange, but something to keep in mind, the possible side effects and possible malfunction in the procedure itself.

I hope you post again with your thoughts and feelings…

anita