Dear Alan:

I hope you do feel better soon. You asked: “how to control my thought about him, control myself not to be hurt over him?”-

Consider avoiding his social media communication, so you don’t get triggered as you have last time.

Learn all you can from this short dating experience and take things more slowly next time, get to know the man over time, and pace yourself emotionally, best you can, not falling in love too deep with an idea of who the man is, or an idea of what the relationship is like. Instead get to know who the man is, and what is the nature of the relationship, over time.

To think less, focus on your moment-to-moment, day to day living: focus on what you are doing at the moment (it is called “mindfulness”, if you are not familiar with the concept you can read about it).

When you feel badly, do something to help yourself: maybe take a long walk outdoors, or talk to a supportive friend, listen to your favorite music… or post here again with your thoughts and feelings.

anita