Hi Ray…thank you for getting back and I hope that all is well with you. Anxiety is but one of a constellation of symptoms of perfectionism that can and do cause physical and emotional imbalance. Perfectionism becomes a problem when it causes emotional wear and tear or when it keeps you from succeeding or from being happy. Sometimes the  pain of perfectionism is felt in relationships with others. The person with that personality trait sometimes put distance between themselves and others unintentionally by being intolerant of others’ mistakes. You said, “I remind myself that everything will be okay and as long as I do my best to be positive and focus on what I love about him it will all go away with time.” The Lakota Sioux say, “Ley hehun nike waste. It is pronounced lay-he-hoon-nee-kay-wash-tay. Translated it means the day is good. And when you said …everything will be ok…it reminds me of when I lived as a child for almost 5 years with a Lakota Sioux family on the Rez. What the White Horse family taught me was, the day IS good.  It all depends on how we as people treat the day. Since “day” in the Lakota perspective is part of nature, we cannot and do not own any part of nature. It all depends on how we treat the day, something that, by virtue of day being part of nature, is already perfect. What a difference your tone “sounds” compared to your first post. I think you have a very good handle on it. You always have but some variables created an imbalance in your life. I’m so happy for you. One of my favorite quotes is by a guy named R.D.Laing. He seems to be a pretty cool cat. What he said really opened my eyes to how I see things. He said, ” The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice, that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice, how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.” Reading this one time gave me a solid opportunity to rethink my approach to things. It has made me a much better person even though I think I was anyway, although my friends will feverishly dispute this 🙂 It helped me change for the better, I think anyway. I have learned too that learning has no value if change is no longer necessary. I cannot remember who said that. But the truth to that is profound. And not only “focus on what I love about him” but focus on the love you have -for you. All too often we ignore that. Let go of the need for perfection. This has interfered with your ability to embrace so much more. When you do let go of that perfection, think about how much more you can give to your man. I’m really happy for you.

Pearce

• This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by PearceHawk.