Dear Kaylon:

You wrote about her motivation to have you in her graduation party:  “she only wanted me to be there so that she could avoid those sensitive topics with her family members”- that would have made your time in the party not very pleasurable, being there to deflect attention, to absorb her distress over the comments from relatives that she wants to avoid.

On the other hand, you wrote about your time with your boyfriend: “The time we spend together is precious.”

Comparing the quality of time you would have spent in the party and the quality of time with your boyfriend- you made the right choice. But not only because of your experience but because you being in the party would not have solved your friend’s problems with her family members, not at all. The solution, for your friend, is what you wrote, she needs to “face topics that she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about with certain people.”

Time spent at the party would have carried no return on investment: not fun for you, not helpful for her.

anita