Dear Cardinal:

You wrote: “I had no sense of right or wrong in those days just desire”- this sums it in an honest, straightforward way. You are fortunate to have been forgiven by your brothers. You “worked my bones to the core earning my family’s trust back” and you succeeded, good job.

Regarding your cousin Dani: for her, it is not about you having been molested in the park by the old man, it is about her having been molested by you. You can imagine how ridiculous it would be for you, if the old man tried to earn your empathy by telling you how he was molested as a child.

Your cousin Dani told you to “leave her alone”, she rejected your efforts to communicate to her or with her. Respect her clearly stated assertion. If you don’t, you further harm her.

All you can do with your cousin Dani is to respect her wishes, her assertions. You “learned about the consequences of (your) actions”- and Dani’s anger at you is one of those consequences.

Continue to better yourself, to be the best person you can be. Help others, but do not force help on Dani. If you do, you are repeating the forcing part of what has harmed her in the past.

Post again if you’d like.

anita