Hi Aballa,

It looks like you received some great responses and advice, so I won’t make this long. I just wanted to add that I too went through a nightmare with a very emotionally abusive man, I think I stayed and put up with him so long, was because I was trying to “fix” him, when in reality I was trying to fix my Alcoholic Mother who severely neglected, abandoned, abused me. He, also was very controlling once telling me during our fights “I have everything, you have nothing” by this time, I believed all the lies he told me, I got sucked in the longer I stayed with him, I thought I was doing it for “love” but mostly I was under his cast..I guess you call it, under his spell of extreme narcissism.

It took me four years to get over the trauma he put me through, but in a way, I always went back to him..”if I just try harder, give him what he wants, be a better girlfriend, drop out of college” “he will really change and show me affection and love”. Nope. He even yelled at me in front of everyone at the airport on the way to Alaska to meet his parents. Worst Christmas of my life. His mom was just like him! Imagine that. Had to put up with twin personalities and awful tension for ttwo weeks, as we got snowbound.

I had to cut him off completely. I stayed at a friend’s house. He was financially secure, but did have to borrow money once, but I didn’t want it, never wanted to see him again. Because I would just go back under his control, like a vicious cycle. Never ending.

I joined a 12 step program called “Emotions Anonymous and Co-dependents Anonymous. They have face to face meetings, or phone group meeting and you can call in from outside the country. It was a Godsend to me. I was a co-dependent. If you “Google” it, or go to their website, they will find you a sponsor, although you don’t have to have one. It is a free program. The people are happy, healthy, warm, welcoming and loving. Most have completed all 12 steps, but there are many only on their first step. Many become lifelong friends. Keep us posted.