Hi BJ,

I too suffer from debilitating anxiety, and panic attacks. There were many times I had panic attacks so severe, I thought it felt like a heart attack, and had to go to ER, several times. I know how difficult and crippling it can be, and I had to stop dating for awhile and go on long term disability at work. I was also having other mental health issues.

When I was hospitalized, I was put on medication for major depressive disorder, and two medications for panic attacks and severe anxiety. About six months later, I was able to date again, but I was honest with the man I was seeing when I began to trust him. He was very attentive and concerned and made sure I was taking my meds, and how therapy was going. It made me feel good that someone cared enough to talk about mental illness with me, and I would tell him, if I had another panic attack, although with medication and therapy they were becoming less and less frequent.

I don’t know if your girlfriend is on medication to control what sounds like Panic attacks (since you say she was hospitalized in ER), but medication along with therapy is crucial when suffering with severe anxiety.

It sounds like she is distancing herself, and why, I don’t know, especially when you both got along so well..then as soon as the anxiety appeared she is aloof to you. I don’t know if she is embarrassed about it, because there is a stigma attached to mental illness, and you both work together. I would just talk to her and let her know your feelings that you feel shut out, and when that happens, relationships will almost always fall apart. I hope things get better.