Sad indeed, Anita. For me, and I KNOW that for many of us, coming home from war is all too often more difficult than the war itself. The time that I wrote it was very difficult. But writing it helped me vent. The emotion reflecting the memories is what my band of brothers and sisters and myself continue to go through. When I read it again, it is still difficult but is getting better, in that now I think of my best friend, this amazing man, in a happy memory, the fun times we did have however few they were. It is equally important for me to express my sadness as it is expressing my happiness. Maybe someday I’ll be able to “come home” as they say, but for now when I do have those PTSD memories creep in to my mind, I capture that moment and send them off to a place called “that was then this is now”, and trade those thoughts for ones of gratefulness. It’s not always easy but it is getting better for me. Ironically those experiences in the Middle East were key in making me a different person in a very good way.

I am grateful that your emotion, the ” So very sad. So very. Very sad.” that you expressed has allowed me to respond in the depth that I did because it allowed me to “talk about it” which is profoundly difficult for me to do even to this day. Thank you for giving me the chance to talk about it. It is a rare moment for me to trust enough to do that and for some reason, the opportunity for me to trust the gift that you have extended to me is met without hesitation, suspicion, apprehension, and fear. From my heart and soul to yours, thank you Anita.

Pearce