Dear Jeff:

The good news is that you have “a much deeper relationship with my kids and I am grateful for that”- I am sure they are even more grateful, as they need you so much. You wrote: “I am fearful for the future of being alone and lonely”- thing is, you are currently alone and lonely. You fear it happening in the future while it is already happening. And you can survive it and change it. Consider the likely possibility that this loneliness you are experiencing is temporary.

This is not a life sentence.

You wrote: “I’m struggling with new town, new job, limited friends (actually in the area) and too much free time… all my evenings need to be filled in. I’m lonely and miserable. But my friends are telling I was the same with her on the nights I didn’t see her”-  like your friend said, if you were still in a relationship with her, you would still feel alone and lonely during the time you would not be with her. So, she seems to be the solution, but she is at best the solution to a little bit of your time.

Aim at being engaged in a healthy, loving relationship with a compatible woman in the future, maybe even the near future. This is what you need and you can make it happen.

anita