Hi Shawna,

He can’t stop by willpower alone, he can say he will get help, or that he will stop, and sometimes it does happen, but unless he gets treatment, it does not stop. I’m a daughter of an Alcoholic, who severely neglected and abused me in my early childhood.

There first needs to be some kind of intervention. This is where his family gets involved. A professional comes over and sits down, with you and his family and talks to him and tells him to get into recovery. If he does not do this immediately, you need to take your baby and leave. Go to a safe place. Have no contact with him, until he has been in AA or treatment for at least a year if not longer. Don’t call him, e-mail. Go to courts to have some custody of your child.

If he does not get into treatment after intervention, things most likely will get worse. I fear for your safety and your baby. Many alcoholics become abusers, first emotional and verbal, then insults, crashes, pounding things, tantrums, and finally he may end up physically hurting you and your baby, and I know this is not the life you want. You must leave before it’s too late, if not for yourself, for your beautiful child. Even if you have to stay in a domestic violence shelter. He won’t change without intervention, AA therapy, and it’s best for you to go to courts and have some custody as he is unable at this time to be a father or a husband. Please go to a safe place. Keep us posted.