Dear None:

You wrote: “how about people that hurt other people repeatedly are motivated not by happiness, but by selfishness and desire to eliminate their ‘rivals’ at any cost so that they can be the best without moving a finger- is that normal?”- it may be normal, as in common, widespread, but it is not justifiable: it is wrong. Again, no matter how unhappy a person may be, it is wrong for them to mistreat another. An unhappy person who mistreats another is as guilty as a … happy person who mistreats another.

You wrote: “Again I was treated badly and my mother used to tell me anytime she got the chance that she wished I was never born, but I don’t hate and bully others about that- it’s simply not their fault”- and you are a living proof, then, that it is possible to have an abusive childhood, having been severely abused as you have been, and still NOT mistreat another.

Regarding your sister who acts “conceited and selfish, brutally selfish”- best to minimize, and if possible, eliminate contact with her.

You wrote: “I have no such powers to say if a person is trustworthy or not. It seems I always make mistakes…”- I don’t think anyone has the powers to determine beforehand if a person is trustworthy or not. You have to learn, over time, who the person is. For example, if you just met person X and person X is nice to you, but you observe person X bullying person Y, you learn that you may be next, that you can’t trust that person’s niceness to you.

You wrote: “I either tell nothing, or tell a lot- which I can confess, is a real problem of mine and whatever of the two I do it seems that nobody is happy and always want more- to talk more or to keep my mouth shut more often”- those people who want you to talk more, you don’t have to accommodate them. Take the Middle Way, tell a little at first, very little. As you learn who the person is, if you determine the person is trustworthy, you can choose to tell more.

anita