Dear Koala:

In your interactions on this thread with respondents, including me, you’ve been very gracious and pleasant. In your last post you considered something in what I suggested that some people would have rejected immediately. You read to me like a gracious and reasonable person.

This relationship has been harmful to you and I am glad you came to the realization that you “now have very little desire to return to the relationship.”

As far as healing and moving on, my advice: maintain this relationship as a past experience. Do not spend more of your time and precious energy of a prospect that has harmed you and is likely to continue to do so.

Keeping the distance, learn all you can from it. In the future you can use what you learn to know better what you are looking for in a man, be better equipped to correctly evaluate a future potential boyfriend, and then proceed with a healthy, loving relationship.

Tolerate best you can sadness, distress, what you feel, without impulsively reacting to such distress, by reconnecting with him, for one. Keep busy with what works for you, to your benefit and have faith in a better future.

anita