Hi JeanKhoo,

Maybe right now in life you aren’t supposed to be social. Perhaps there is something you have to get through or move on from before the right people enter your life. If we are constantly searching for people who make us feel bad about ourselves, is that moving toward who we are meant to become (if you believe in that)? Perhaps after you meet someone you can reflect for a few seconds on the way they make you feel, underneath all the looks and personality masks we all wear. If they make you feel bad, maybe it’s best to not let them take up too much of your time or thoughts.

One thing that helped me be optimistic and can really change the way people treat you is to imagine a happy memory or pretend like the person is your best friend as you meet them. If you put yourself in a happier mindset before you meet them the whole exchange could turn out more positive.

I also distance myself from people, but I find I am happier that way. Maybe being a loner doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Maybe it can be awesome! Try to spend your time on things you love, so that you love to be alone! And when you aren’t alone, try to surround yourself with the people who you love the most and who don’t make you feel bad.