I agree Anita, I feel you are saying that I need to shift my focus away from the goals I thought of before. Instead of getting in shape to attract a man I should want to get in shape to be healthy and please myself? I “think” that is what you are saying. What I can not get away from though is that I do believe I make myself unattractive and have done so to keep men away. Not consciously.

I would like to create a full plan for what I need to do in this thread. Hopefully my ability to help other people will change in the near future but my focusing on myself in a productive way needs to happen now. I will come up with a plan but so much to overcome. My biggest hurdle is fear though I think.